Settling Into Nursery or Preschool: A UK Guide

Nursery or preschool is often a toddler's first regular time away from a parent — distinct from starting Reception at 4-5, which our Family pillar covers separately.

Funded childcare hours in England

• All 3 and 4 year olds get 15 funded hours a week from the term after their 3rd birthday, regardless of parents' work status
• Eligible working parents of 3-4 year olds can get 30 funded hours a week
• Eligible working parents of 2 year olds can get 15 funded hours a week (up to 570 hours a year across 38 weeks)
• Funding doesn't cover meals, nappies, sun cream or trips — providers can charge separately for these
• All registered nurseries and preschools must be Ofsted-registered and inspected against the Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) framework; only providers rated Good or Outstanding can offer the government-funded places

Check your eligibility and apply for a code via the government's Childcare Choices service.

Separation anxiety at this age

Separation anxiety is a normal developmental stage, typically appearing somewhere between 6 months and 3 years old, most commonly starting around 8-12 months. Most children move through it within a matter of weeks; for some it continues, in a milder form, into the early school years.

A phased settling-in approach

Most nurseries build this in as standard practice:

• Visit the setting together a few times before your child's first proper session, so it's a familiar place
• Start with short sessions where you stay, then gradually increase the time you're away
• Build up to full sessions or days only once your child is managing shorter separations reasonably well

At drop-off

• Keep goodbyes brief and positive — a long, lingering goodbye tends to prolong distress rather than ease it
• Don't sneak away without saying goodbye — it can undermine trust, even if the immediate reaction seems calmer
• Stay calm yourself — toddlers pick up on parental anxiety more than the words being said
• A comforting, familiar object from home can help bridge the gap in the first weeks

What's normal during the adjustment

Crying at drop-off, some regression (wanting more comfort, minor sleep changes), and general clinginess are all common in the first weeks and typically ease with time and consistency.

When to ask for help

Speak to your health visitor or GP if your child is excessively distressed for their age and stage, remains very upset well after you've left (check with staff, since distress often eases quickly once a parent is out of sight), or shows no improvement at all after several weeks of a consistent settling-in approach.